Anal is certainly one of the more stressful sexual encounters as let’s face it, there is more potential for something to go wrong and some embarrassment
1. Explore yourself first
The rectum is tight and going from nothing in there to a full-size penis can be a pretty intense experience. Unlike the vagina which becomes wider when aroused, the booty stays the same so getting used to something in there can take a bit of practice. Play by yourself to explore the area before you make the decision to have anal sex or not. You can start by using a finger or a butt plug to see how anal stimulation feels. The more you play, the more you will understand if you like it and what kind of stimulation in that area feels good for you.
2. Know your tummy and eat appropriately in advance
This is something that should really help to put your mind at ease before you play. If you know that there are certain foods that upset your tummy, these are exactly what you need to avoid for a day or two in advance. Keeping your body and tummy happy and healthy means that the rest of the prep should be easy!
3. Get clean before you get dirrrty
It’s important to remember that your body doesn’t actually store any poo in your rectum, it just passes through here. So, as long as you go to the bathroom in advance, there shouldn’t be too much to worry about internally. If you are concerned then you can always do a quick douche to get rid of anything that may be left over in there. But remember that it is not an essential part of the prepping process.
If it’s going to make you feel more confident then go for gold though. What is important is to ensure you are all sparkling clean externally though, so just jump in the shower prior, do your thing and you are good to go.
4. Get the room ready for action
Set up the area in whichever way is going to make you feel most comfortable and relaxed. And by all means, put down a towel if you want to! This will also help with the lube situation because as I am about to tell you, you are going to need a lot of it.
5. Lube, lube, lube.
Yup, we want lube everywhere. On the anus and the penis. You ass is not self-lubricating like our glorious vaginas. No matter how aroused you are, it’s not going to lubricate itself and you need to use lubricant to make it more enjoyable but also to make it safe. You can easily tear something if you go in too rough and un-lubed. Ouch! Make sure you lube up the opening of the anus and the inside of it with a finger or lubricant launcher to make sure it is thoroughly lubed the whole way down. And don’t forget to lube up the penis too! Told you it was going everywhere.
6. Consider a condom
So long as you both have been checked for STI’s and you are doing it with someone that you trust, then its fine not to use a condom. However, some people like to for hygiene reasons. It’s up to you. If you are going to use one, make sure you are sticking to a water-based or a silicone based lubricant. Oil-based lubricants wear down latex making them no longer protective to your precious genitals.
7. Do not go in dick first
Get yourself excited first in whatever way works best for you. Stimulate other areas of your body and use a finger or toy to tease and relax the sphincter muscles. The booty is full of thousands of nerve endings but most of these are actually located on the outside of the booty and the entrance to it, so what most people get from anal sex (excluding men of course, who get stimulation from the prostate of course) is the feeling of fullness and pressure.
Many people will need to stimulate themselves in other ways to reach orgasm too. Play with your clitoris or use a small toy vaginally too. However, some people will orgasm from anal penetration alone and its though that much of that is actually psychological and comes from the excitement of anal sex. So you never know!
Take it slow. Very slow. Ease in a little bit at first and allow muscles to relax before going any further. If the receiver is uncomfortable the sphincter will naturally tense up and this is what makes anal sex painful. The slower, the better no matter how excited you are both are!
9. Communicate and listen!
Make sure you keep communicating with one another throughout the whole thing. Moans of pain or discomfort can very easily be mistaken for moans of pleasure in the moment. So check in from time to time, especially if one of you wants it deeper or faster. Ask first! Try to remain in face to face positions too, so that you can see and read each other’s faces. Look out for verbal and non-verbal cues. This is meant to be enjoyable for both parties!
10. Get wet and stay wet!
Reapply lube as often as you need to and don’t worry about it ruining the moment. Pain and discomfort will ruin the moment way faster and probably end it. So keep lube on hand and use as much as you need to ensure everything stays slippery.
11. Don’t go back to front
And pretty please, don’t ever go from booty to vagina! Never ever. This can cause imbalances in your vaginal bacteria resulting in yeast infections or UTI’s. Ouch! If you are going to swap, you need to wash in between or change the condom if you are using one. These are two distinct eco-systems and they need to remain separate no matter how far away the shower is.
12. Patience makes the heart grow fonder
No matter what happens, be patient. Anal sex is fun! It takes a little more work but it can totally amazing. All those nerve endings will love you for it. The most important thing is that you want to do it and are actually excited about it! If you are nervous or don’t really want to your body will respond as such and it will be more difficult and likely a little painful too.
Remember that sometimes, things just happen beyond our control. Don’t allow yourself to get too worked up about it and your partner shouldn’t either. If you are with someone that is going to get upset about a little body fluid, then they shouldn’t be indulging in anal play in the first place! Respect and maturity will go a long way when it comes to anal sex.